Building Frustration

Running along the Promenade - Fells Point

This past week has been pretty rough for me and has had me contemplating a return to my corner of the couch. 

After a month of annoying pain and tingling in my left arm,  I finally went to the doctor.  I didn't think it was MS for a couple of reasons but I knew it had to be something.  Apparently, it was.  Turns out I have a bulging disk and it is encroaching on my exiting left C7 nerve root.  Want to take a guess on where that nerve goes?  At least my pain corresponded with the encroached nerve.  So what does that mean, it means I'm getting older.  Luckily for me a NSAID helps keep the pain in check and hopefully it will calm down soon.

If that wasn't enough good news, I also found out that my BMI and BC are on the high side and I'm considered over-weight.  I know those numbers should be taken with a grain of salt, but I also got to hear that my blood pressure was so high they wanted me to either call the doctor immediately or head off to the hospital. (I did have my doctor check it out and I'm all good, for now, at least.)  The only good news I really got was that I was normal for cholesterol.  Add all this to the fact that I haven't lost any weight in over a year and I'm just a tad bit frustrated.  

For all the whining I do, I work very hard with the Sadist.  He pushes me and I push myself, even when I would rather not. I've definitely gotten stronger and my balance a little better.  I don't fall over every time I do the various exercises, just every now and again. I am also running around 7 miles a week and it was only 18 months ago I could barely run 500 feet.  Maybe there has been some changes for the good, but I would love to see it reflected in the numbers, just once.

Tomorrow I will be running the Run to Remember 5k to honor those we lost on 9/11.  While I'm there maybe I'll remember why I continue to push myself, even if it doesn't seem like I'm getting anywhere. 

3 Minutes and Counting

Three minutes is amount of time I held my plank today.  Was it a perfect plank, no, but I did good.  This was the longest I've been able to hold one.  It did help that we did the plank first and not at the end when I am so tired I can barely move.  Of course this did not get me out of the rest of the torture for the night. One of my least favorite exercises are jumping jacks.  There are parts of me that really just don't like to jiggle that much.  Of course, one person that I used to work out with actually had an "accident" brought on by jumping jacks and jiggling.  Luckily I don't jiggle quite that much.


Apparently the Sadist is getting me ready for some big plan he has for me on Friday.  Based on what he has told me, it is 50 different exercises and should take around an hour.  Ok, he did it in just about an hour and he is much better at this than me.  It will be interesting to see how far we get.  The only thing he will tell me, aside from the number of exercises, is that it is broken up into 5 categories.  They include:

• Cardio
• Abs
• Core cardio
• Shoulders and back
• Legs

All I can think of is the time he had me doing the 25 exercises of Christmas and that was not pretty.  Did I survive? Yes.  Did I like it? Not particularly, though I do tend to like full body workouts more than site specific.  I try not to let him know when I actually like something because then he may get the silly thought that I may be enjoying this.  That is not acceptable, I would lose all my whiny credibility.

My upper left back/shoulder area has been sore and when I am doing basically nothing it goes into a spasm.  A tilt of the head, letting my arm hang or even a laugh brings it on.  This being said, do you think I could have had even one little twinge of pain or a spasm during torture?  No, it feels fine.  No pains.  No spasms.  Not even a little ouch.  I could have used a little bit of a reprieve, but no such luck.  Now that I am inactive, the pains are back  This is not even a little bit fair.  

I'll check back after Friday, if I survive.  He tells me I will, but I'll believe it when I experience it.  According to his girlfriend, I'm going to need the entire weekend to recover. What have I gotten myself into? Isn't there somewhere else I need to be?  Wish me luck.

Checking In, Finally

I have had the biggest writer's block.  I just have not been able to sit down and tell any of the wonderful stories I have encountered over the past few months.  So much has happened, at least in the running side of my life.  I have participated in three runs since the Baltimore Women's Classic.  They included the Dundalk Heritage 6k, the Electric Run and finally the Casey Cares 5k.  For two of the runs, I had a niece running with me.  This is really cool, except for one thing.  I really can't keep up with a 16 year old.  During the Dundalk Heritage 6k, I started off staying in pace with my 16 year old niece, only to find once I got in for a mile, my 44-year old body started complaining.  I finally had to tell her to just go on without me.  Although it wasn't my best time, it was respectable and I was happy with it, somewhat.   

For the Electric Run, I didn't have to worry about timing and to be honest, it wasn't my niece I had to keep up with. Terri would jog slowly along and then take off on a sprint.  It became a challenge to keep her from going ahead of me.  Of course she did this just to annoy my competitive side, but it did make it fun.  On a side note, I don't really think that was a 5k.  I've run enough of them now, that I kind of have a sixth sense of when I am going to be done and this one ended too soon.  Terri did beat me, but that is only because I stopped to take a pic of the finish line.  All in all that was a blast and I enjoyed running with everyone. They know who they are.  :)

Finally, Terri and I did the Casey Cares 5k and I'll be honest I do it mostly to see Markakis.  What can I say??  We did pretty good on the race and I bested my time from last year. That is always a plus.  I love ending the race at Camden Yards, it definitely adds to the race. Due to some chicken like behavior on my part, I didn't get a pic with Markakis, but I did get one with Hunter.  Next year I won't allow my yellow streak to show and I'll go for it.  I hope. 

That's been it for the past couple of races.  I haven't been in to see the Sadist in 2 weeks, so heaven only knows how my first day back will go.  I've been on business travel and that is never good for ones eating habits (and mine aren't good to start with).  I'll check in after I see him and let you know if I survived.  I'm not making an promises.  That man can be mean, I don't call him the Sadist for nothing.

Good Run, Bad Time

I ran the Baltimore Women's Classic 5k today and I'm a little disappointed. I know, I know, it isn't about the time, it is that I finished it.  I am thrilled that I finished and finished strong, but I'm not happy with my time.  I had one goal (aside from finishing) and that was to do at least 1 second better than last year.  I failed miserably and I really hate that.  I was almost 3 minutes slower, which makes no sense to me. 

I felt good in this run.  I felt strong and was very consistent with running, which I did more than walking.  I am happy that I did finish strong and that it felt good.  Usually that first mile is killer, but I was feeling energetic and well, as the crew would say, grumpy. Apparently running grumpy did not help me this time.  I'm just bummed.  My next run is a 6k in a couple of weeks and I better see some improvement or else grumpy will be the nicest description of me.  

There were over 3,000 woman running today and when we were lined up, I actually jumped up to see over the heads.  It wasn't until after I did it a second time that I realized I had actually jumped.  It may not sound very exciting and to probably just about everyone but me, it isn't.  Jumping is one of those things I have had so much trouble doing.  

My ability to jump and lack there of, is one of the common exchanges between the Sadist and I. I say I can't and he says I can. I'm not sure I'm going to tell him about this.  First, I don't want the "I told you so" and second I can just see all the new exercises focusing on that new skill.   I think I'll keep it to myself for a while.  What he doesn't know won't hurt me. 

In my new quest to log my meals, I did pretty good. I missed one day and well that was because I definitely went off the reservation with my eating.  Even though I am just worried about logging right now, I really don't like seeing when the calories are more than they should be.  Aside from my missed day, I stayed on track and even stayed within my calorie range.  

Logging my meals also helped me to make some better choices.  Every time I thought about grabbing, say a donut, I'd remember I would have to log it and I really didn't want to see it on the log, so I made it fruit instead. I really like fruit, so this is not a hardship.  Well one week down and many more to go.  Thanks Maria and Terri for taking this journey with me.  It definitely helps.

Back on Board

It has been quite a while since I last posted.  This is not to say that my life has been boring, just that I haven’t had the words to express.  In a nutshell, the last two months have included three races (one that was a 10k), the MS Walk and a birthday celebration.  Being the good girl I am, I continued my bi-weekly torture sessions with the Sadist.  They continue to be source of frustration and hilarity all at the same time.  How can a guy make me feel like I’m 90 years old and yet act like a 5 year old?  It amazes me every time.

Yesterday, he was in one of his rare talkative stages.  He is generally a man of few words and for much of the first year I wasn’t even sure he liked me (I’m still not convinced). During one of his stories I had to remind him to give me the weights and tell me what to do.  Of course I immediately regretted it as it was squat day from hell.  On Friday I had done over 300 leg presses and today we were back to torturing my poor legs.  My main challenge with squats is my inability to bend my ankle past 90° (I can’t pick up my toes).  This causes my right leg to do a lot of the work, which is noticeable, as the right leg is larger than the left.  It’s like I have legs of two different people, kind of like Frankenstein.    I worked at engaging my left leg, but when I did that my entire body shifted.  I was no longer center and when I tried to center myself while both legs were engaged, I toppled right over.  Poor guy can’t leave me for long when I do squats.  You just never know when I’m going to take a tumble.  Somehow I managed to complete all the exercises and I’m sure I’ll be feeling it not only in my legs but in my arms as we couldn’t do plain old squats.  He had to make sure the arms were tortured too. 

While working out, the subject of my weight loss or lack thereof came up.  I have managed to stay between the same two numbers for more than a year.  The only time it went down was when I got back from vacation.  I am definitely getting the exercise, so it is time that I actually do something about my eating.  Although I don’t think I overeat, I’m going to try and to put it to the test.  What I really need to do is keep a food diary.  I have done this successfully in the past, but not so much in the last few years.  It’s time to dust off that diary (metaphorically speaking since it is an app on my phone) and start again.  Is anyone interested in doing this activity with me?  I’m serious, I need all the help I can get.  Maybe if I had someone going through it too, I’ll have better success.  Message me if you are interested.  I really want to get off this stupid plateau.  It is quite annoying. 

Run with the Bunnies

Race number four of the year is over and done with and I showed that bunny a thing or two.  Last year when we ran the 1st Annual Easter Bunny Run I was not a happy hopper.  Poor Maria ended up dragging me for much of the race.  After coming off the success of my 1st ever 5k, I had tanked the 2nd.  That was not the result this year.  I didn't do as well as I had hoped but I did good.  I finished in under 40 min and again didn't feel like falling over.   To me that is a success.  There were a couple of dicey moments, but I didn't whine and I persevered. All in all I think I knocked that Bunny on it's butt.

During my finish line sprint, my legs did not want to respond.  I know that part of it was due to the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad Sadist  and yes to those familiar with the book, I am channeling Alexander and his bad day.  My torture on Friday seemed rather benign until Saturday morning, when the straight leg dead lifts and other relatively innocent feeling exercises reared their ugly head.  Even now two days later, I dare not sit for too long or my hamstrings seize up in pain and my lower back isn't much better.  

Usually by the time I see that sadistic man again, I somewhat like him. I think this week, I may just skip the whole, "you aren't that bad" feeling and his cuteness isn't going to make up for it  Of course he'll claim that my hamstrings are sore from the running and I won't disagree that is part of the problem, but not all.  The hamstrings were feeling sore before and during some of the run and luckily as the run progressed they actually felt a little better.  When I started the sprint my legs, especially the left, did not want to respond. Now, as long as I don't move or stay still for too long, I'm okay.  Luckily he is off this upcoming Friday and I get a break from him.  All I have to do is survive on Tuesday and all is good until, most likely, May. Something to look forward to along with another race and the MS Walk.  Woo hoo!

I think, I know, I DID!

Today I completed the Sole of the City 10k.  Yes, I said 10k, as in twice what I normally run.  This wasn't my first one (it was my second) but it was my first big one.  For the first 3-4 miles I chanted to myself, I think I can, I think I can and then it turned into I know I can.  At then end it became I DID.  During the last mile, I did revert to I think I can, but that is okay, since it became I did.  For only being my second 10k ever, I gotta say, I nailed it.  Not only did I beat my best time, I felt good doing it.  It was probably the first time I really felt good running.  Of course now that I said that, I have probably jinxed myself, so it could be the last.

A few runs ago, I realized that no matter how much I tried, running an entire race (no walking at all) was probably out of my reach.  Thanks to some of the challenges I have, my legs tire very quickly, especially when I push way too hard.  Unfortunately, I am stuck with the legs I was given.  (I know because I have put in a request for a new ankle and it was denied.)  So instead of getting frustrated because I had to take walk breaks, I just embraced them.  I did make sure I didn't walk more than I ran and I deemed hills (not little bumps) and cobbles as walk zones.  It wasn't until I got to mile 5 that my legs started to fade, so by mile 6, I was doing a little more walking, but I didn't stop and to be honest, I didn't want to.

My favorite site was seeing the American flag flying at the finish line.  I took one last quick walk break and then broke out in to a my end of race sprint.  I can't finish a race without it.  The cool thing was that I didn't feel like falling over after the race.  Don't get me wrong, I was exhausted and with good reason, but I wasn't fighting to keep myself upright or from puking.  I always have this fear I am going to keel over as I cross the line.  That would humiliate me to no end plus I'd probably get trampled by the other finishers. 

Next week is another run, though this time it'll be a short but somewhat hilly 5k.  Last year it was one of the ones that kicked my butt.  It's time for me to kick back and after this week, I think I just might be able to do it.  Check back next week for the update, because not only do I think I can, I know I can and I will.  :)